Spirit-Walk
by blondi
Summary: Janeway is finding it increasingly difficult to put her feelings for her First Officer on the backburner...While helping Janeway reach her animal guide, Chakotay must decide whether to continue to pursue his Captain's heart or forget about her altogether.


**Disclaimer:**I don't own Star Trek or any of the characters; if I did, things would be very different aboard USS Voyager.Enjoy and please review!! J

Spirit-Walk

She sniffed the air; her whiskers rose and fell with each intake of air.The soft sound of leaves rustling, of the air whistling through the tree-tops, the smell in the air that held a heady mixture of a fresh stream, moss, and the leaves wilting underfoot.She studied him and pawed at the ground before him, the dirt breaking free under her paws.

He sat back and leaned on his elbows taking in his surroundings—the place he went for solitude and peace.He had needed this trip more than anything else the past few weeks, and finally he had put aside the time to indulge.His companion was none too happy that he had waited as long as he had, but duty came first—always.

The quiet gray wolf settled herself down in the leaves beside him and rested her chin on his lap, content for the moment solely in his company; she would ask for more later.

Sunlight filtered through the trees to where they sat.On a rock not five feet from where he sat a large green lizard stood looking at him, silently flicking its tongue.This was a creature he had seen before in this place, but not for a very long time; the she-wolf lifted her nose and sniffed the air investigatively then calmly returned her head to his lap.This visitor posed no threat.

With the addition of the new arrival, Chakotay felt even more at ease than he had before—if that was at all possible.He felt…complete.Closing his eyes, he put his head back and soaked in the filtering sunlight.Now he would bask in this place, for time was precious.Soon he must return.

Janeway smiled when Chakotay slipped through the turbolift doors onto the bridge.The day had held no surprises so far, and probably would not for the rest of the night considering that they were in a very solitary stretch of space at the moment.There were very few solar systems in this region of the Delta Quadrant and even fewer M-Class planets to worry about, making this segment of the journey very peaceful. 

And dull.

Janeway shifted her weight in her chair for the third time in fifteen minutes and still felt uncomfortable.That third cup of coffee was beginning to make her fidgety as well, but at the time she hadn't been able to resist it.

Chakotay settled into his second-in-command chair beside her and flashed his ever-endearing smile.She felt her return smile creep unabiddingly to her face; how this man caused her to react so instinctively to his movements was a mystery to her.

Yes, it was true; her long-embedded feelings towards this coworker of hers were beginning to return after so many months of hiding them.It was a constant battle to remain focused on work around him.As much as she did not want the attraction, it was there, and it wasn't going away.The question was: how far do I let it go? 

She blushed slightly as memory flash of the previous night came to her.She had gone to his quarters for dinner as it was his night to cook for the two of them.She had revealed to him how her worries for the crew and for the voyage had been returning of late and how she couldn't sleep much at night because she had so much on her mind.She neglected to tell him that some of what was on her mind at present was her relationship with her First Officer.

When the dishes had been cleared away, he had come to her as she still sat at the table, and began a massage so exquisite she could've melted into her chair. 

Those hands!His massage coupled with the soft Native American flute music playing in the background made her lose herself in the workings of his hands.Only his massage existed, nothing else mattered.If the soft music had not been playing, nothing would have counteracted the current of electricity that ran through her body at the touch of his careful fingers; she would have been a gasping mass of nerves ready for him to take to bed at his choosing.

The following morning it had been a trying time detangling the twisted sheets from her body back in her own quarters safely alone.

Now as she sat beside him on the bridge she mused on the situation.She stole a quick glance in his direction and found his eyes on her.She averted her gaze back to the view screen.

This tension between them couldn't last forever.Could it? 

Chakotay whistled as he strode down the corridor towards his quarters.The day had gone well for him since his meditation this morning; oh how he had needed that.

Others could lose themselves in extracurricular activities and get the same results, such as Be'Lanna visiting the holodeck to rock climb, or Tom entering his fantasy world of …whatever that monochrome program was.But for Chakotay, his center existed in the spirit, and nothing healed that so well as time with his animal guide and with nature.

Nothing was better than a half hour to himself…where he concentrated on something other than work.Or her.

Chakotay sighed and rounded another corner.That morning he swore he saw Katherine flush when she caught his eyes locked on her, but she had glanced away so quickly, as if she hadn't noticed.Was it an act, or was she ignoring his gaze to save her First Officer his dignity?

After all, everyone on the ship knew she had turned him down more than once since the New Earth incident.Oh, they pretended that they knew nothing, but his ears were keener than they knew.~Murmurs when he and she entered the Mess Hall together; hushed conversations when he joined fellow crewmen for a game of pool at Sandrine's; secretive glances at the two of them when they thought he was numb to it all.The ship was more intelligent than the two of them gave it credit for; what he wondered was what Janeway's opinion of the situation was.

He stepped onto the turbolift and nodded at an ensign who stood within.

As a captain, she was required by her own personal code to keep her feelings hidden from the crew.They can never see her fear, never see her pain, and never, _ever_ see her as a human being.Captain Janeway kept extremely high expectations of her crew, but Katherine kept _insane_ expectations of herself. 

Stepping off the turbolift and winding his way down the corridor, Chakotay thought about what he would do that evening.Now that the ship was 90% free from danger in this section of space, he could use the spare time to enjoy himself.He considered inviting Katherine to dinner again as he entered his quarters.

Except that she was already sitting in his living room.

"I hope you don't mind me being here," Janeway smiled up at him from her position on his couch cradling a glass of water in her hands."I tried to catch you before your shift ended, but you never were one to hang around longer than you need to." 

Chakotay stared at her, his face breaking into a warm grin."Of course I don't mind.But next time I would recommend replicating yourself something more exciting while you wait.I hate for my guests to drink bland fare."

Janeway glanced down at her water and returned the grin."Noted."

Making his way over to the couch, he crossed his arms over his chest and stood looking down at her."Well, I was going to eat by myself, but since you're already here…"

"Oh, I didn't want to impose myself, Chakotay.Actually, I came to ask if you would be available sometime tonight to help me." 

He raised his eyebrows. 

"I want to visit my animal guide again, but I can't seem to do it on my own like I used to.Something's…blocking me."She looked at a loss for words.One thing Katherine Janeway was not used to was _not _succeeding at something.Chakotay smirked at the picture that came to his mind of his captain sitting on the floor for the 50th time trying to summon her animal guide and finding no luck.He wouldn't have wanted to be in that room. 

"Of course I can help you, Katherine.What time would you be thinking of?"He dropped down onto the cushion next to her and rested his head on his folded arm.

"Does 2100 hours sound good to you?" She inclined her face towards him. 

"Sounds perfect." 

Chakotay arranged the holy objects around the two of them on the floor.Since the first time he had shown Katherine where to find her guide, she had collected a healthy amount of personal objects to aid her voyages.

A photograph, a necklace with her birthstone, her Academy ring, and smoothed stone of a light pink shade sat before her on the rug.He knew nothing about the history of these affects or their significance to her, but he understood they were each very important pieces of her past.Maybe someday he would learn more. 

She smiled warmly at him.She was dressed in a soft cotton button down shirt with khaki-colored loose-fitting pants and bare feet.Her hair was loose save for two thin barrettes that held the hair away from her face on either side.Chakotay returned her smile and closed his eyes to focus. 

"Hakuni mata, to the lands of our spirits.Hakuni mata, to the place of our guides…" Chakotay continued the chant, his voice musical and calming to Janeway's senses.

Soon, she could feel warm air and a caressing breeze brushing her cheek.She opened her eyes and looked around at the forest she was sitting in."Oh, it's beautiful," she murmured.

The season appeared to be early fall, though she had no idea where she was.The air was gloriously fresh and her ears picked up the faint sound of a nearby stream running nearby.

Looking around her, she saw no other living creature at first.But upon the second perusal of her surroundings she caught site of him.

A small green lizard looked straight at her from his perch several feet away.His tongue flicked continuously, tasting the air.Janeway felt warmth spread through her.The creature's simple presence filled her with such calm that all she could do was just sit and watch him.The sounds of the forest were the only noise in her mind as she relaxed on the soft leaves.For a short while she could enjoy thinking of nothing and feel utterly content; that was her spirit-guide's gift to her. 

Chakotay's eyes opened from his own meditation a while later.Katherine's eyes fluttered open soon after.He observed the utter peacefulness her face displayed and smiled at her.

Beaming, she slowly stood up and stretched."Chakotay, I can't thank you enough for that."

He looked up at her while he collected the objects from the floor."Nothing makes me happier than seeing you at ease, Katherine."He froze in mid-movement for a fraction of a second. 

Why the hell did he always reveal how much she really meant to him?It just opened doors to rejection and embarrassment.Chakotay sighed and stood up, having finished putting everything away. 

He extended the small plush bag she kept her objects in.Taking it gracefully, she smiled warmly at him. "Having you saying things like that makes me the happiest woman alive, Chakotay."

Turning on her heel, she left his quarters before he could frame words in his mind to respond. 

Hopefully To Be Continued!

Please, please, please tell me what you think…I wanted to portray Chakotay and Janeway's feelings and thoughts …not enough action?Too wordy?Let me know!! J


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